If it is peace, love, and respect
that we are trying to instil in our wedding vows then
this is difficult to do where the Priest has to explain
and filter this through noise. For one thing it is extremely
difficult to concentrate.
Practising total silence throughout
the wedding is equally difficult, children will play,
and people will talk but generally a peaceful environment
can be maintained for a reasonable period of time also.
This is within our gift.
Of course we should not forget our
culture and there is wonderful meanings within some
of our wedding songs and there is something quite beautiful
in the traditions of Indian women singing wedding folk
songs also.
But what music really gives serenity
to a wedding? Well, it is this music that is simple
and instrumental, and it can be Indian as well as Western
music that achieves this goal.
There is a tremendous expectation upon
the Priest to "control" the crowd. Having
provided a service, I feel this can be rather unfair.
As a Human Being I can only control my own attitude
and behaviour, I can perhaps influence the behaviour
of others, but I cannot control others, nor should I
be expected to do so. Guests should consider the purpose
of their attendance at a wedding.
My view is simple, we are their for
the bride, the groom and the parents; we are there to
celebrate the coming together in marriage of two individuals.
And we can do this with a little respect for the couple.
A Priest who demands silence can come
across as "rude" and "arrogant"
and guests do not expect the Priest to behave instructively.
There are many ways to make a wedding a serene experience.
Guests perhaps can be clear on what is expected of them.
So how can we achieve this? Simple things like ensuring
there are enough seats for everyone, and separating
the Dining area from the Wedding area can actually make
a difference.
Ushering guests who are standing and
directing them to Chairs is an equal consideration.
And finally numbers…. I have no idea how one Priest
can direct 700-1000 guests.
As we move forwards into a generation
that seeks questions, and that wants to attain some
spirituality for a short time, on their wedding day,
where spirituality is important, then we as people attending
the wedding can do our part in making this journey a
spiritual one.
In Hinduism there should be no colour,
no status or cultural caste system dictating who is
at the top and who is at the bottom of the structure.
Those days are gone. Everyone is equal in the eyes of
good. God forbid the belief in untouchability, for there
is no such thing. Either we are Humane or we are not,
either we are equal or we are not.
Marriage is a personal choice, some
Indians will marry Indian people and some will marry
non Indian people, but all these people have one thing
in common, the soul, that special spark in each and
everyone one; for love has no colour nor divide. Peace……
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