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How does the wedding day look?
Picture this. Your fiancé arrives at the venue
either on horseback, rikshaw or more commonly, by car.
You can hear the noise but you are anxiously busy getting
ready. His friends and relatives celebrate by dancing
to the accompaniment of a band.
He has the tikka (red dye) applied to his forehead.
The samayu takes place and he is greeted by young ladies
from your family. As well as performing arti or pokhvanu
your mother or another family member grabs his nose
gently to symbolise the tradition of a groom rubbing
his nose on the door to ask the bride's parents' permission
to marry you. All in good fun.
He walks to the mandap, (the marriage tent), by himself
and traditionally his feet are washed. While he is occupied,
your sisters might steal his shoes and he may have to
barter for them at the end of the day. The fun and games
continue.
Then as he watches, you arrive. Instead of walking with
your maternal uncle to the mandap, your uncle might
carry you, (kanya agamana) - a tradition started in
the days of child marriages or your brothers may bring
you in a dholi. Or you may simply arrive hand in hand
with family.
To symbolise your acceptance of your fiancé,
you place a garland around his neck, (jayamala), and
during the ceremony it may be hard for you to garland
your groom, as he may stand on a higher level than you.
In kanyadaan your father and mother give you away, (handing
over), I call this offering the hand in marriage, and
in haste melaap, (taking of hands); both your hands
are joined in marriage.
During the varmala ceremony, your parents and other
relatives place a lucky cord around both of your necks
signifying the strength of the marriage bond.
The Marriage Fire - Guajarati's and Hindus perform this
rite only four times to symbolise the four basic human
goals, (dharma, artha, kama and moksha).
In past times, when you and your fiancé/husband
finished the fourth circuit, you would race to see who
sat first in order to see who would be the most dominant
and it would be a chance for you to show your cunning
and intelligence. Nowadays, it has just become a competition
between you and your husband - make sure that you win
it!
Your husband signifies your change in status from a
single woman to a married one by painting the centre
parting of your hair with the red dye, vermilion, (sindhoordaan),
and he places a mangalsutra necklace around your neck.
The Seven Steps - The Seven Steps ceremony, (sapta padi),
may also differ in how it is conducted from the typical
Hindu wedding in that instead of facing north and walking
seven steps together as you recite the desired blessings,
your husband helps you to touch seven betel nuts with
your right toe while you recite sacred words of friendship.
This is a decision that is taken from the heart on the
day. I will involve you in this decision.
As you are standing at the altar, several of your married
female relatives whisper blessings into your ear, (akhand
saubhagyavati), and your husband intercedes when it
is your mother's turn by grabbing her sari or dress.
It's time for your dad to empty his pockets I am afraid.
With the ceremony finished, you and your husband are
expected to touch the feet of both sets of parents and
the priest to ask for their blessing (ashirwaad) on
your marriage.
Vidai - is a traditional and emotional for your parents
and for you as you bid farewell and leave the paternal
home to begin a new life with your husband.
The above gives you a flavour of the wedding. Of course
there may be slight variations to the above.
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