How does the wedding day look?
Your fiance arrives at the temple (pokhavanuu) either
on horseback or, but more commonly, by car. You can
hear the noise but you are anxiously busy getting ready.
His friends and relatives celebrate by dancing to the
accompaniment of a band.
He has the tikka (red dye) applied to his forehead.
As well as performing ariti (garlanding), your mother
grabs his nose gently to symbolise the tradition of
a groom rubbing his nose on the door to ask the bride's
parents' permission to marry you.
He walks to the mandap (marriage tent) by himself
and traditionally his feet are washed. While he is occupied,
your sisters might steal his shoes and he may have to
barter for them at the end of the day. This is intended
to add a humorous note to the otherwise serious event.
Then as he watches, you arrive. Instead of walking
with your maternal uncle to the mandap, your uncle might
carry you (kanya agamana) - a tradition started in the
days of child marriages or your brothers may bring you
in a dholi. Or you may simply arrive hand in hand with
family .
To symbolise your acceptance of your fiance, you place
a garland around his neck (jayamala) when he arrives
because during the ceremony it is hard for you to garland
your groom, as he may stand on a higher level than you.
In kanyadaan your father and mother give you away
(handing over) and in haste melaap (taking of hands)
both your hands are joined in marriage. There is no
right or wrongs here. During the varmala ceremony, your
parents and other relatives place a lucky cord around
both of your necks signifying the strength of the marriage
bond.
The Marriage Fire - Gujaratis and Hindus perform this
rite only four times to symbolise the four basic human
goals (dharma, artha, kama and moksha). In past times,
when you and your faince/husband finished the fourth
circuit, you would race to see who sat first in order
to see who would be the most dominant and it would be
a chance for you to show your cunning and intelligence.
Nowadays, it has just become a competition between
you and your husband - make sure that you win it! Your
husband signifies your change in status from a single
woman to a married one by painting the centre parting
of your hair with the red dye, vermilion (sindoordaan)
and he places a mangalsutra necklace around your neck.
The Seven Steps - The Seven Steps (sapta padi) also
differ from the typical Hindu wedding in that instead
of facing north and walking seven steps together as
you recite the desired blessings, your husband helps
you to touch seven betel nuts with your right toe while
you recite sacred words of friendship. Of course you
may actually take seven steps forward.
As you are standing at the altar, several of your married
female relatives whisper blessings into your ear (akandsaubhagvati)
and your husband intercedes when it is your mother's
turn by grabbing her sari or dress. It’s time
for your dad to empty his pockets I am afraid.
This was traditionally an excuse for the groom to ask
your family for the ring and gifts that they owed him.
With the ceremony finished, you and your husband are
expected to touch the feet of both sets of parents and
the priest's to ask for their blessing (ashirwaad) on
your marriage.
Vidai - is a traditional and emotional for your parents
and for you as you bid farewell and leave the patenral
home to begin a new life with your husband.
(There may be slight variations to the above.)
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