“If you are looking for God where will you find him?

We can aspire to look in heaven, but when we attain this place we will never come back to tell others whether he was there.

We can look around us and in our hearts, is that where God is? Is he with us, around us?

Perhaps our path is to help others who are less fortunate than ourselves and utter the Lords names; then maybe we will find the truth and taste peace on earth.”

Stress and a wedding – at all costs avoid stress

This is such an important subject that I felt it necessary to write about it. I have often wondered why some brides, some grooms, and some families get stressed during “the” wedding function and I have a few thoughts that I would like to share with you all in this small article.

Of course stress may be natural because that’s what gets the job done. After all weddings are a big day in the life of the bride, groom and families. And the final week requires some preparation and months of planning. But there is a sliding point and when that is crossed bad stress takes over.

Some individuals get over stressed because it is in their nature, they require to be in some sort of control and they want everything to be perfect. And sometimes this is caused by nerves. When things don’t go our way how do we react? Do we look down at others? Are our expectations so high that they cannot be achieved? These are all negative warning signs which indicate the “individual” will be so tied up in preconceptions that they will not be taking part in the ceremony.

Is it not better to be spontaneous and natural? Yes. Is it necessary to plan every little detail of the ceremony in its minutest form and understand beforehand the whole ceremony? No. And the words for a ceremony are not to be discussed prior to the ceremony; they are time bound for that particular moment. When the sun rises each day from the East and sets in the West I do not need to know why or the precise formality or reasoning of how it rises and sets, yet it happens and I accept it gracefully. I have lost nothing by accepting the sun’s form as it is. On the contrary I have attained peace.

The world we live in is, however, so imperfect that to seek perfection undermines the spirit and ethos of what a religious ceremony is about. Therefore do not seek perfection; rather seek humility. There are other signs of stressing on the big day. Voices are raised, people “bite” at others, sometimes I see this all, but whilst this occurs will the couple remember what has been said? Of course it’s natural to lose oneself during the ceremony for small periods of time, but not through the “Stress” word. When the latter happens “nerves” may have taken over or worse still “ego” has won. Everyone involved in the wedding day should avoid stress.

A parent may sometimes have different expectations to that of their child. They may even draw on their experiences of marriage but these were years ago. They may even be being advised by other armchair priests, often family members, who may mean well, but really their actions confuse everyone, upset the flow and undermine the attending priest. A Mahraj should never be compared with another Mahraj; each brings their own personality as a gift.

The causes of stress are listed here as (1) Nerves. (2) Oneself. (3) Unrealistic expectations. (4) And family expectations. You must consider which of these you and I can control in a positive manner. My final tip in dealing with pre wedding stress is to chill out, plan that final week so that you are not exhausted and relax. Good luck.