Rajendra Joshi  BA (Hons), PGCE, MA (ED)

We feel it is important for any participant or host family to understand some of the factors that effect wedding and prayer events in this day and age. Suffice to say some of these factors didn't have a big impact in years gone by. Times have changed. Expectations and costs have canged too.

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All wedding ceremonies are about placing two people together. That is the primary objective of any wedding; and in as peaceful a way as possible. ​​​The Hindu wedding ceremony is based on prayer, emotion, scenes/rituals.

 

By saying rituals we are merely placing a past historical “time” and act/meaning upon the ceremony; acts which our ancestors took part in through prayer. H​ere we will try and articulate three of the most important behaviours that we feel could effect the peacefullness of a religious ceremony.

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(1) Firstly, expectations. Build your own event with one rider, namely expectations. If you attend another's event in the same year as your wedding go for the couple, not to critique, assess or compare to yours. If we all did that all events would be humbler. 

​Do not expect your preacher to be the same as another who was not available for you and do not allow your family to expect the same. Why. Put simply we do not aim to copy any other Priest.

It is impossible for one to be someone else. ou have to accept whomsoever you ask to conduct the cermony to be who they are. And to do things the way they know. Hone those ezpectations right down.

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(2) Secondly, let's talk about stress. Stress can affect host families at these times. Especially because events have numbers. And of course there are those in some families that create stress from nothing.

 

We all have the potential for people like this to exist in our lives, not just in events. Of course such people may mean well, but their timing is often poor. Deal with the stress creators beforehand by letting them know your boundaries.

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Thereafter, the simple thing to do is to not let any stress get to the immediate family on the day of events. If you plan effectively then not so much can go out of sync. Remember, youve taken out the creators of stress and the rest is in your own mind. Natural stress can be tackled. It's all in the mind.

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​​​​(3) Now, many factors affect peace during a ceremony. for example guest behaviour, lighting, numbers, layout, seating, age, demographics and the quality of sound and music. None of these elements works on it's own.

So, do think about the these factors. There are plenty of advisors within the industry. Don't assume that lavish names  or high fee charging suppliers mean well or know what is right and proper in faith. The don't. Their concern will be how to get their elevated fee. Look for people that have qualifications and experience in people management.

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Finally, a key point is for the couple not to project manage their own religious ceremony on their day. Be present in the moment and take part. It's a matter of a couple of hours over a few days. EXPECTATIONS. STRESS. BEING PRESENT.